A strong community is a humble community

By Trey Tompkins - Contributing Columnist

Where skepticism comes to play we must replace with humility. This is a great form of Strength. I notice this skepticism in my own inner dialogue. Thinking, “Well this is not that, and that is not this” in its own harsh critique. This is mentally weary and exhausting. We don’t think our thoughts pull energy from us, but they do, and the mean ones do not reciprocate.

Humility does reciprocate your energy in the sense that so little is wasted in participating in our comparative dramas. Acted out plays, fearful exaggerations of the imagination that, in actuality, never happen to their highest potential. In fact, good and very strong people even come from rock bottom positions.

Humility is conditionally learned as embarrassment (although it is not). In the moment of an embarrassing situation we risk a lot. Say, for example, you want to ask, or be asked out, on a date with someone you like. We fear rejection, but also we have to risk it. For what? Acceptance. A person may get to thinking: “What if I am told no?” That would be the worst in the world. Right? Well, no. Wrong. We don’t risk the humility and are still given no certainty. Our curiosity abundantly plays, but since we did not risk anything, it opens up the door for skepticism. So that’s what we get and that’s how we learn to worry.

What is the byproduct of this? We over exaggerate the importance and difficulty of our tasks. Give more time than is necessary into work that gives us small or no margin of profitable energy. Yes, your task is important to you, and you may be doing well with it, but the virtue of a chore (even your job) is in our own improved competence compared to who (and where) we used to be, and not how much better or worse we are in contrast to anybody else. This fact comes with humility.

Strength is about energy, and energy, particularly how we are learning to waste it, must be explored. This, I believe, is the quickest (not easiest) way to strengthen a community. I work in a gym. It is a great place to sharpen the body, yet, it is limited. I could go on for the rest of my years helping people achieve, and I could go on and accomplish some awe-inspired feats myself, but that does not get a majority of people off of a couch. That does not get people to actually believe in themselves to their core.

My own weakness is that I do not ask. I try to control all by myself. It is not strong, in fact, it is even worse than weak. Why? Because it is dishonest. There is vague humility. There is no forgiveness. There is not any self-acceptance. Those are all things that allow us to recover and recuperate from a day. I waste time by not asking and slowly corresponding. While actions, on my own, may appear to be mighty, they come with a misinterpreted understanding of what the world really can be. Lovely. If you trust. If you ask. If you are curious, not tempestuous, the world is lovely.

With great humility I ask that we trust each other. The hardest part of my job has been in telling people they are strong, they are good enough, and them not believing in it. Rejecting the idea and reinforcing their skeptical nature! To strengthen oneself, beyond physically, to help learn how to acknowledge real Strength, real Being, means it comes with humility, and not from skepticism. I ask that we humbly acknowledge this and exercise a greater kindness. Nice things are pleasant, but nice people bring indomitable will.


By Trey Tompkins

Contributing Columnist